The vampire in Zona Sul Normally I'm used to a new language quickly rather to learn and also a rate not forgotten. So, my Hebrew is not necessarily as "excellence", but it's still, to come up with Israelis throughout the world in conversation. Also, when I left for over 13 years of Israel, and have since spoken almost never Hebrew. Now I've been more than three weeks in Brazil with Rita on the road and despair a little at the Portuguese. And that even though my partner is a patient teacher. Thanks to my lack of language skills, it always comes back to unusual situations, such as when shopping: 
"I go just once in the Zona Sul (roughly comparable with the German Edeka store) and get us something for dinner, "I said to Rita, and leave the room. She says something, but I understand it no longer. The" Zona Sul "is located only 300 meters from Rita's complex removed. As usual, even when shopping in Germany, I grab a quick shopping cart and stride quickly through the aisles, around the basket to fill gradually with the items. cream, yogurt, cereal, pickles, beer.
at the fresh case I have to take the first hurdle. "How do you say your 300 grams of ham," it goes through my head. "three" means "três", as far as I am now in the hobby-language course progressed. But what is now called 300? I say: "Três Centa Gramma" and show my fingers on the ham. And so wrong with my order I have not located obviously, because the young man behind the meat counter looks at me with big eyes though, but repeated: "Trezentos grammas de presunto?" I nod and say instinctively "Si". It would have to correct "Sim" hot ... Now the cheese. They call here funny enough "Mussarela" even though he has little in common with real mozzarella. I would like to know why the Brazilians this cheese bite as nennen.Ich me, but on the tongue, a question of this kind would amount to nothing. I speak no Portuguese nunmal and the likelihood that the man behind the counter speaks English, French, German or even a little Hebrew, is vanishingly small. And that's normal here.
Surprisingly few people master the English language. And it's not just like on the French, where many speak English, but simply avoiding it for several reasons. Here it can hardly just a man. For me, that takes "hands-and-feet" language an enormously important role as a visitor to the country. And I speak almost perfect. I thought at least.
the cheese, I still got problems, but at the salad bar, I almost despair. I have all the ingredients together. Only garlic is missing. I stand anyway in vegetable scales, from the back weighs a young man, the kind of goods for customers. "Where do I find garlic, I ask him. He grins at me. For him, my question must have sounded as such, as for me the question after an Indian spice. "Shit, who speaks no English." What to do. How to describe garlic? So I start him to breathe and to imitate with waving hands in front of my mouth, a bad breath. The young man grins even more. How can you describe more garlic? I can think of as only the term "vampire" field. I point my finger at the canines, hissing a little and pretend that when I bite into my veins would. The man at the balance now has to laugh heartily and makes a face as if he would understand. But no. He shrugs his shoulders and says this: "Desculpe!" - "Sorry!" I see that I not get here. I thank you politely and make me to find someone who speaks English. The sixth customer is there. "Do you know where I can find garlic," I ask him. He reaches into his basket and shows me a net full of garlic bulbs. Finally. The man accompanied me even to the shelf where I find them.
him I could also use a couple of minutes later, again when I am in search of cheese. But he seems to have left the store. Now you can watch yes sometimes figuratively imagine how I try to convey a Brazilian, the difference between sheep and goat cheese. I say "Mööööhhh" instead of "Määääähhhh" - oh dear, what a task. When I finally find the cheese, I am left off the spit. Want to have the 30 but actually real (around 12 €) for 200 grams. This can and I will deny myself.
So I come home with garlic and goat cheese. And filled with many shopping bags. Rita looks at me in amazement. "Why have you bought so much," she asks. "For the next few days even matter what," I reply. She opens her mouth for a few seconds to their surprise To give even more weight and finally says: ".... We have not really even go shopping in the rent, the shopping service included with each hour an employee of the building complex for us to buy what I've told you so ever"
Well, never mind, I think. Such a purchase as a "vampire" and "sheep-impersonator" has finally entertainment value.
In this sense, "Määääähh" and "Fauch"
your Daniel
